My reasons for doing this

Well this is my first blog. I am not too sure why i have signed up for this. I keep a journal as a way of venting my inner thoughts and it helps me process my thoughts in a calm and chronological manner and as such i can see the stupidity behind them and most times the emotions all fade away. I think i am doing an online blog is 1) curiosity and 2) to get my feelings out there to gage how other people react, as I seem to be very different to most people around me apart from my husband, but even he and I are far apart in some areas. I think it is my total belief and adoption of Buddhist principles which basically are: Learn to do good, cease to do harm, control the mind and benefit others.

When I was a teenager coming into womanhood things were very very hard as it is with most teenagers of my generation, and I sought so hard for another way upon realising how wrong the may i had been brought up with was (and being shown the light by my husband). But he just told me to 'be nice', but i needed more than that - i needed guidance. For too long i had lived believing consequences to negative actions were fictional, that home arguments in which kids were dragged into were part and parcel of everyday home life, and that all parents argued, and that all kids were depressed and cried in their rooms. But upon leaving and floating from shit hole to shit hole and from trouble to trouble, eventually i was blessed to meet my husband and he stood by me and reprogrammed me, showing me what i thought to be right was very wrong. But it was finding Buddhism and the guidance it offered me through its teachings that showed me HOW to be different. Before it i knew i was wrong and that i needed to change, but i did not know how, and the New Kadampa Tradition's teachings explained why i was how i was and how to go about changing it.

So, returning to my original point - I think i am writing this to Share my views about the world, my work, my beliefs and my fears in a hope that i can connect with others who share my views and at the same time maybe help change people's negative perceptions and delusions as both my husband and Buddhist teachings did for me. O and i just want to RANT! :)